I Just Want to Be
by MysticalElfGoddess
Summary: Note added. Look inside if you reviewed or read this story. It didn't go as I planned and I apologize. Please read the note.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: my first EVER LOTR fanfiction. It's a bit AU and I must confess something to you all because I trust my readers completely. I have not read the books, I have fallen in love with the movies though and my favorite couple has become Aragorn/Arwen. It's a classic love and I feel I need to continue the legacy with my own work. Please bear with me; I don't know much of Elves and their culture, nor about Aragorn and his ties with Arwen's family. I'm using what I've researched and read in other fanfiction. I'm taking my own insight on it. This takes place pre War of the Ring. Please tell me how I did also, if it's horrible I will not be continuing it.  
Thank you for reading this to begin with. It means a lot.  
  
I Just Want to Be  
  
Chapter One: One of The Elves  
  
MysticalElfGoddess  
  
*Here we go....*  
  
Arwen sat in her chambers. One of her many Elven maids was brushing her long hair and she was chatting about something that Arwen did not find interesting. It was the eve of her Anniversary of her Birth. She heaved a sigh that seemed to come from her toes.  
  
"Just think my Lady; you will be 500 years into your life tomorrow! You will become recognized as a full Elven Lady now! Does this not excite you?" the chatty maid went on and on and Arwen wished she was anywhere but there in her chambers.  
  
"Yes, yes. It's a wonderful thing. I am so very happy to be considered grown up." Arwen said without any enthusiasm, hoping the maid would hear the disdain and sarcasm in her voice and drop the whole issue. By the Valar, everyone was making too much of a deal about this.  
  
Arwen's silent cries for help were unheard as the maid continued and Arwen heaved another large sigh.  
  
"Your dresses, your responsibilities, your whole life will be different! Everyone will bow to you when they see you, it will be so wonderful. You have been graced Lady Arwen." Arwen came to the conclusion that some maidens were so dense they could not tell what they were supposed to be doing. In this maid's case, she was supposed to have stopped talking long ago.  
  
"That will do, that will do. Please leave me to my thoughts now." Arwen finally had to come out straight and tell her to stop and leave so Arwen could have some peace. The maid nodded and left.  
  
Arwen was just letting a sigh of relief flow out of her when there was a knock at her door. She closed her eyes slowly and then reopened them controlling a sigh.  
  
"Yes?" she answered the door and it opened without permission. Arwen was just about to get mad and then she realized who was there.  
  
"Ada!" she cried forgetting her saddened state so she could show her father she was at least a bit happy about the ceremony. Elrond smiled softly, and then turned his stern-father face on again. "What is wrong Ada?" she said, suddenly worried.  
  
"Nothing at all, Pen neth nin. I simply had a moment and decided to visit you. Haldir, Orophin, and Rumil have come; as well as Legolas and your grandmother and grandfather. Legolas is in the courtyard with your brothers and the other three guests, and Galadriel and Celeborn are waiting to see you. How are you feeling pen neth?" he asked concerned when he saw his daughter's unhappy face. "Are you not happy of their coming?"  
  
Arwen turned to her mirror and shook her head slowly, she was holding back tears. "I am happy. I am very happy Ada." She took a breath and spun around again. She flung herself into her father's arms and finally let the tears flow freely down her cheeks.  
  
"Ada! What if I fail to complete everything? What if I make a fool of myself? I will be a failure to you and all of Rivendell! The word will spread that Elrond's daughter is not worthy of her title! And now that Galadriel and Celeborn are here they will also see my failure and all hope will be lost for our family. I feel so scared. Ada, I never feel afraid, why am I afraid now? I can't help but think that things would be better if I had Naneth still. It's not that I don't love you Ada; I just need another lady to talk to. I love you Ada, I really love you and I want to make you happy and proud of me." She cried in a blur and Elrond could do nothing. He sat and stroked her hair, letting her tell him all her worries. After she was finished he lifted her face up and brushed her tears away.  
  
"Oh my Little One, Little Arwen, I will be proud of you in whatever you do. It is not ceremony that pleases me, it is your smiling face and your happiness that does. I miss your Naneth as well and I know you would be better off if she were here to guide you." Elrond cupped her cheeks and smiled down at her. "I love you and I will love you no matter what you do or what happens." She smiled a true smile and it felt like the first one in years.  
  
"Thank you Ada. I feel better already." She hugged her father and he let a small sigh of relief. This wasn't usually a tough point in an Elven maiden's life, but his Arwen wasn't a usual giggling Elven maiden. She was much more special and had her own personality. That's why he was worried about what the Elven men of his kingdom and the men of the mortal world would think when they saw her, grown up and beautiful.  
  
"Enough crying now." He said and she pulled away, rubbing her face with her sleeves and smiling through the drying tears. Elrond sighed and his heart felt heavy again. Letting the twins grow up was one thing, they were boys for one and he had a wife by his side still. Now it was his little girl, growing up, and he had no anchor to help him reign in her free spirit. Elrond stood up, "I have an early gift for you."  
  
Arwen stopped and looked up at her ada. "A gift?" she said surprised and shocked. Elrond nodded and sighed again, closing his eyes.  
  
"I've decided you can go riding and hunting with men for the entire day and night. You will go with Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas, Haldir, Orophin, Rumil, and Estel. If you leave in one hour, you may come back by early morning light. I know you've always dreamed of it so I'm letting you go with them. That is, if you still want to?" Elrond opened his eyes and saw his daughter shining with love and beaming with happiness.  
  
"Oh Ada! It is everything I've ever dreamed of! You're allowing me to stay away from the maids, who you know I cannot stand. Allowing me to spend time with the men and it's all I've ever dreamed of! I cannot say how happy I am! I cannot tell how thankful I am! I..." she stopped for a moment and rethought what Elrond had said.  
  
"Did you say...Haldir? Haldir is coming? Why is Haldir coming?! He is so...boring and unhappy and... Oh I don't know what he is but he is not my first choice for anything at all." Arwen was still happy but her spirit was dampened quite a bit by the mention of the overly serious Elf accompanying her for the night and day.  
  
Elrond stifled a laugh and tried to be serious. "You should be grateful that I let you go at all, Pen neth."  
  
Arwen immediately felt bad and very sorry. "Oh Ada, I didn't mean it like that! I am very happy and I love you and I will be forever thankful to you. I'm very sorry for being so dishonorable."  
  
Elrond couldn't take it anymore and he burst out laughing, surprising his little girl. "I was only teasing. I know you do not stand his presence if you don't have to. That's why I only spoke to Legolas about your coming; he will stand as your protector. You will not have to be with Haldir. Now give your Ada a hug and then get ready."  
  
Arwen smiled greatly again, she couldn't stop smiling and she ran and hugged her father again. He smiled and then pulled away.  
  
He began to walk out of the room and turned around to face her again before leaving and spoke once more.  
  
"Nobody else knows of this trip. Only Legolas and Estel," He said.  
  
Arwen looked at him questionably and asked him, "Estel? Why does Estel know?" Elrond gave a small smile and answered her softly.  
  
"Why, it was Estel's idea. He wants to make your day special he told me." Elrond waited for a reaction and he saw her face soften and melt slowly. "He cares for you deeply, little one. I would thank him before you meet up with the others."  
  
Arwen nodded mutely, stuck in her own world thinking of Estel and wondering why he was being so nice when he usually teased her relentlessly.  
  
"Thank you Ada, I will be down in a few moments..." Elrond shook his head smiling to himself. Estel was a good man; even if he was human he was a very good man. It gave him hope that he wouldn't turn out to be like Isildur, even if he was his heir.  
  
Elrond walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Estel had been in and out of Rivendell for years, it was his home because he had none. He was a strong man and years of battling Elladan and Elrohir in the fields had hardened him into a true warrior.  
  
Elrond walked down the staircase and into the hall where his mother and father sat. He bowed before them both and they gave him a smile of understanding. He turned to his mother and she smiled knowingly.  
  
"Do you listen to all my conversations?" he said softly but smiling.  
  
"Only the conversations that interest my family and the little one's well being." She said and laced her fingers through Celeborn's hand.  
  
Elrond tossed himself onto the bench next to his mother and sighed, a very improper act. Galadriel raised her hand and placed it on his face softly.  
  
"Naneth..." he whispered so no one but his parents could hear him "I don't know if I'm even doing the right thing. She is so free and I don't want to hold her down, yet I feel as though I have to. She'll fly away from me and I don't want to lose her."  
  
This time Celeborn spoke to his son.  
  
"You never know if you let go too fast but you have to let go and that's the most important thing. You are doing the right thing Elrond, though it doesn't seem like it, she will be happier if you let her go. You love her and she knows that you do." Galadriel nodded and smiled her special smile, kissing her son's forehead and than stood up, the men following her and Elrond bowed and whispered small thanks as they left the room, hand in hand.  
  
The two wandered outside into the gardens and they walked in silence.  
  
'My love, you spoke such wise words to our Elrond, you moved me with your words.' Galadriel thought and Celeborn smiled at her words which only he could hear in his mind.  
  
'You, my lady, inspire me everyday. I am still amazed that you chose me to be yours out of all other choices.' Celeborn thought back to her and she blushed a bit at his kind words.  
  
'We really have not grown over the thousands of years, have we, my love?' she was speaking with truth and he knew it.  
  
'I can honestly say, my soul, we have not. And my love for you grows stronger with every minute that passes.' He stopped their walking and faced her. She was blushing fully now and he took the opportunity to lay a kiss on her cheek. She laughed at his childish action and placed her hand on his shoulder.  
  
'Stop now love, Estel approaches and we must speak to him. Remember what we saw for his future? We must give him a subtle warning, no?' Galadriel smiled and nodded at her husband who winked back at her.  
  
Estel walked through the gardens and was only thinking of Arwen and hoped she would join them during their hunt. Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice as he walked past the Lord and Lady of the Wood.  
  
"Your mind is uneasy Estel. Come and speak with us." Celeborn spoke and Estel spun around quickly startled at his voice.  
  
"My Lord and Lady please forgive me for not noticing you!" Estel dropped the package he had been carrying and dropped to his knees in front of the couple. He bowed his head low and felt very ashamed of himself.  
  
"Can you not look at me Aragorn, son of Arathorn? You will have to learn to look me in the eye, how will you explain it to your children if you cannot look at their great-grandmother? How will you explain it to your future wife, my granddaughter?" Galadriel spoke softly and both she and Celeborn smiled at the young man.  
  
Aragorn looked up at the couple and his eyes were very wide. He was so surprised. He couldn't deny the beauty of Arwen, nor his feelings when he was around her but for her to be his future wife? It was more than he could have hoped for.  
  
"Do you mean this truthfully, my Lady? Do you mean that...Arwen will one day accept me as her husband? Me? A once fallen man who lives among the Elves, a man who cannot find himself or his path? Do tell me if you mean me!" Aragorn said all in a rush, desperately seeking the truth  
  
"I would never speak ill or an untruth to you, my dear boy. You will play such an important role in Arwen's life and we will all be grateful to you." Galadriel spoke softly and Aragorn's heart leapt.  
  
"But listen carefully. Listen to me. There are obstacles and many things shall come to pass before you can live together happily. Challenges for you Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Do not speak of this again though, you will not tell anyone of this, and you mustn't think of it again. Do you understand?" Galadriel finished the good news with a warning and Aragorn decided that it wasn't such a bad warning after all. He promised Galadriel and Celeborn he wouldn't think of it again and he bowed again thanking the two.  
  
He picked up the package he had dropped and continued onto the palace.  
  
Galadriel turned to her husband and they smiled at one another, the future was secured and it was true hope for them both. They shared another kiss before they continued their wandering.  
  
************  
  
"Lord Elrond! Ada? Where are you?" Aragorn called as he entered the palace. Elrond didn't even have to look up, he knew the voice.  
  
"I am here Estel!" he called and soon his foster son appeared in the doorway of the hall where Elrond still sat, thinking about his daughter. Estel smiled and was about to give his "father" a hug when he remembered the state he was in.  
  
There was mud clinging to his outer coat and small traces of blood were visible as well. His hair was mussed and his face was dirty. The grubby package he held in his hands was also very dirty. Elrond could tell he had been fighting someone somewhere.  
  
Two Elven maids came from the sides of the hall and took his coat off and away, probably wishing they could burn it, even though neither Aragorn nor Elrond would be very happy about it.  
  
"Aragorn..." Elrond began and he knew he was in trouble for Elrond had not used the loving name he had adopted, Estel.  
  
"Yes, Ada?" Aragorn answered a bit frightened.  
  
"That package... it wouldn't happen to be stolen from a dwarf? Wouldn't happen to be a gift for someone that you stole from someone else?" Elrond asked amused.  
  
Aragorn brandished his winning smile and said to his ada, "Let's see... it is a gift, it is for someone, and I got it... not anyway that I don't normally get things from people." His teeth glistened as he smiled.  
  
Elrond laughed and waved his hand in the air, "Just bring it to her, I don't want to know how you got it Estel."  
  
"Oh yea... Ada." Aragorn said before leaving. "Haldir has seemed to come down with a bit of fatigue... he wont be joining us for the hunt. Is Lady Arwen coming with us?" Elrond nodded and Aragorn let out a huge grin.  
  
Aragorn bowed and ran up the staircase, two at a time like he had since he was little.  
  
Elrond placed his head in the palm of his hand. Things had been much different lately than they had been in the past.  
  
*************  
  
Arwen was packing a bag when she heard a soft knock at her door. She was singing to herself and wasn't paying attention to anything at all.  
  
"Come in..." she said lightly and turned around as Aragorn walked in.  
  
"My Lady." He bowed before her and she smiled at him.  
  
"Estel, you cannot call me lady or bow to me until tomorrow, you know that." She said shyly inviting him farther into her chambers. They sat down on one of the benches and she played with her sleeve while she spoke.  
  
"I feel I must because you have grown up so, you are a lady now, one day will not make a difference." He grinned at her and her heart fluttered. Why is everything so different today? She was feeling so much different about the Estel she had grown up with in the past day or two.  
  
"Thank you" she whispered, barely audible. "That means a lot." He smiled at her once more and this time she looked straight into his eyes and gave a heartfelt smile right back to him.  
  
"I have another surprise!" he stated happily, "Haldir will not be joining us." She smiled widely.  
  
"I have something else for you" he stated in a singsong voice. Arwen giggled softly and Aragorn smiled at her. He handed her the parcel and she grinned so widely he wanted to laugh out loud.  
  
"You've already down so much" she stated softly, "My true gift is the one that you've already given me."  
  
"Ah!" he said in a mock mysterious voice "But this one, my lady, you can open!" Arwen giggled again and he placed the package in her lap, and she wasted no time in opening it. Aragorn stood up and watched her.  
  
Arwen's eyes widened at her gift. She would have fallen off the bench if it had not had a back.  
  
"Oh Aragorn..." she exhaled his true name and his heart began beating faster.  
  
It was a grey shirt, cut in a scoop neck style. A long skirt, the same color, that was loose and she could actually walk in it. There was a waterproof grey cape to match it and placed carefully on the top of the package was a silver chain-crown, one less fancy than the one she had to wear around Rivendell, but still equal in beauty. The outfit was for her to wear on their trip that night; he had bought the crown so that she could remain a princess, without disrupting her fun. It was another wonderful gift from her Aragorn.  
  
"Oh Aragorn..." she breathed out again, this time she looked up at him  
  
"Is it not to your liking, my lady?" he asked in a worried voice. She placed the outfit and crown on the bench where he had been sitting and jumped out of her seat.  
  
She jumped on him and threw her arms around his neck clinging onto him. Aragorn wrapped his arms around her so she wouldn't fall off of him and smiled a sigh of relief.  
  
Arwen suddenly realized what she was doing and blushed greatly, letting go of his neck. He placed her on the ground again but kept his arms on her waist. Her hands lingered on his shoulders and she looked up at his dirty face that had not been shaved in weeks and felt something for the man she had never felt before as a sister or even as a friend.  
  
Love.  
  
"Then... you like it?" Aragorn asked her, his voice had grown lower and it was raspy, sending shivers down her spine.  
  
"It's perfect..." Arwen whispered, her eyes had grown heavy and her lids seemed like lead.  
  
"If it is perfect than it is only fit for you." He brushed a piece of hair out of her face and accidentally touched the tip of her ear making her shiver visible to him. His arms tightened their grip around her.  
  
"Arwen..." he leaned closer to her ear and whispered  
  
"Yes...?" she barely could feel her own voice as it left and filled his ears.  
  
"May I kiss you?" he didn't even know what he was saying anymore, his movements were not his own.  
  
"Yes..." she whispered and through her half-lidded eyes could barely make out his face.  
  
He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers'. Her arms went fully around his neck and she gave a soft moan, letting him know it was ok for him to go on. He pressed his lips a little bit harder to her lips and she responded, slowly kissing him back. He kissed her lips for a few more sweet moments before leaving them and sliding kisses down her neck. Her head was tilted backwards and it gave him more leverage. His lips and tongue made short work of the soft skin on her neck. She was moaning his name softly.  
  
She suddenly snapped from her state and said his name loudly, pulling him away as well.  
  
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, worried.  
  
"No," she said with a smile. "Not at all, you're wonderful. But my father is coming soon, you should leave. I'll see you later. We'll spend what time we have together, now that Haldir won't be there." She smiled and kissed him once more before pushing out of his arms. He left the room without another word, they were both smiling.  
  
Elrond walked into his daughter's room moments after Aragorn had left. She had already changed into her new outfit and was staring at it in her mirror.  
  
"Isn't it beautiful, Ada?" she asked dreamily and Elrond nodded.  
  
"A present from Estel, I presume?" she nodded and picked up the bag she had packed.  
  
"I'm ready to leave." She stated happily. Elrond nodded and led her out of the room.  
  
"Good, the others are ready as well. Now remember, you have to get some sleep so you'll stop for a while. Make sure you eat enough. I can't give you another horse so you will be riding with Legolas. I don't want you to come back exhausted either. If the men start drinking...try to stop them, they will not be drunken fools at the ceremony." Elrond kept talking and Arwen rolled her eyes.  
  
"Ada, I am not an Elfling, I can take care of myself. Do not worry! This is going to be fun for me." Arwen said smiling as they reached the garden where Legolas and Estel stood with their horses.  
  
Arwen did not look at Aragorn who was staring intently at her. She was afraid her father would find them out. She smiled at Legolas, her longtime childhood friend. He smiled back and she could still feel Aragorn's eye boring into her face.  
  
Legolas looked at her and than looked at Aragorn. He looked back at Arwen and gave her a knowing smile. It was impossible to keep a secret from the prince. Maybe that's why all of Mirkwood respected him fully as their prince; he could let no secret go unnoticed.  
  
Just than Elladan and Elrohir, Orophin and Rumil all made a great entrance, loud and laughing as usual. They quieted quickly when they saw Arwen mounting Legolas' horse and Elrond allowing it. Legolas climbed up onto the horse behind Arwen and took the reigns from her. She beamed down at her brothers, knowing that they were agitated and annoyed she was coming.  
  
"Why?" Rumil whined.  
  
"She's such an orc." Elrohir said with a smirk  
  
"It's bad luck for her to come." Orophin stated smugly.  
  
"She's coming?!" Elladan stated scornfully  
  
"Yes, she is." Aragorn said to the four elves and gave them a look that could kill.  
  
"Any problems?" Legolas asked icily and Elrond had to stifle a laugh. Legolas was only about fifty years older than his twins, about seventy years older than the other twins, yet there was something quite frightening about the Mirkwood prince, he seemed to condemn any bad action taken against Arwen. Elrond smiled as the four complaining elves shrunk back and nodded, muttering apologies under their breaths. They climbed on their horses and waited for Elrond to dismiss them all.  
  
Elrond walked over to Arwen and Legolas and took her hand. He was worried and sad.  
  
"You'll be alright?" he said softly. Elrohir let out a sigh that anyone standing around could hear. Aragorn shot him a dirty look. The twin shrugged back yet again.  
  
"Ada, I'll be fine. I have Legolas, I have Estel. And even though it's not too reassuring, the others will take care of me as well. You have nothing to worry about." She squeezed his had reassuringly.  
  
Aragorn came up behind Elrond and put his hand on shoulder, Legolas put his hand on his other shoulder and Elrond looked at the both of them.  
  
"We swear our lives for hers. She will be safe Ada." Aragorn stated with determination and Legolas nodded in agreement.  
  
"Than I have nothing to worry about." Elrond said with a small sigh. Arwen smiled and leaned to kiss her father's forehead. Elrond gave a small smile and walked away from them.  
  
"Ada, we'll watch the Elfling too. She's such a child we have to take care of her." Elladan said smugly and Elrohir snickered at her look of indignation.  
  
"I am no Elfling. I don't need reckless Elves who cannot stay out of trouble themselves to take care of me." Arwen stated with her head high in the air. Elrond rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation.  
  
"No fighting..." he said and they all looked at their respective, or in the others' case adoptive Ada.  
  
"Go in peace."  
  
With that Aragorn took off with a wild yell and the others soon followed him. Arwen was smiling greatly and Elrond tried to calm his worried heart.  
  
"Go in safety. Bring her home happy."  
  
********************  
  
As they reached the Bruinen and stopped Arwen filled her flask with the crystalline water, Legolas approached her.  
  
"And what between you and Estel?" he said softly so the other Elves wouldn't hear  
  
"Nothing, Legolas, why would you think something was going on?" she gave him a fake smile and he didn't buy it at all.  
  
"He asked if you would ride with him, said something about being closer to you..." Legolas said and she blushed slightly.  
  
"Please don't tell Ada." She begged him and he chuckled softly  
  
"No," he said and she sighed. "He is a good man. I don't know if your father will approve...but if you love him you may be able to get away with it." Arwen smiled and looked over at Aragorn who was adjusting his saddle. He gave her a small smile and he heart melted again.  
  
"Well... what are you waiting for?" Legolas said with a grin. Arwen smiled back and ran over to Aragorn.  
  
He climbed up and held a hand out to her which she accepted quickly. He pulled her up and they rode over to Legolas who was getting on his horse, the sets of twins lagging behind.  
  
"Ready?" Aragorn whispered in her ear and she shivered and nodded. He took the reigns and took off across the river at a run and Arwen never felt better.  
  
Tonight, for at least one night, she was one of them.  
  
Please tell me how I did. R and R! Ciao y Amore. ~Laura~ 


	2. FirstLast Note

Dear everyone,  
  
I will not be continuing this story though many reviews made me feel very good about my work; there were more that made me feel bad about it. I wish to thank Kath and Krystal, my only reviewers who respected my work, seemingly the only ones that saw my note in the beginning about not reading the books and my saying that "I Just Want to Be" was to be an alternate universe story. I don't think it matters anymore because I won't be continuing this story, or writing any new ones. Thank you to my two open- minded readers, and thank you to the rest of you too, who showed me that I could not write a fanfic for LOTR.  
  
Ciao y Amore,  
  
Laura~* 


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